The Secret Life of Toys

Ward Parties

Ok, so I'm such a snob. And a sinner. We had our ward Christmas party tonight, and it was.... Well, it was.... I don't know where to begin. You see, one of the ladies in the ward had written what I will very generously call a "script" for the Christmas program. But it was alternately haphazard (the script portion that simply said generally that the Primary would be doing a skit, had, next to the "children exit" line the reminder "No clomping!", as though any of the kids would ever see that reminder) and overly specific (such as having one speaker start at 6:53, and the next at 6:56). It also contained interjections which looked like regular parts, so you're reading along and then BAM! it's talking about what Nephi should do in a scene that's explained three pages ago. Very confusing.

Then there's notations telling every actor when to start thinking about getting ready, when to get ready, when to be back-stage but ready, when to be in the wings, and when to go on. Seems like a lot of that could be inferred by each actor (all of us adults, at least nominally) on his own. Then, there are the instructions at our walk through, where the director tells one participant that his speech is very important and he needs to emphasize his words, and he does it so slow it's like he's, well, a little slow, and she says "Exactly!" and I think "*shakes head in shame*".

So, it's not like I think I'm the world's greatest actor (that is James McAvoy), or that I'm too good to be in stuff like this. It's just, well, I don't have a lot of time to spare. And I've already ranted and raved about how I resent (even though I probably shouldn't) the Church exercising what Constitutional lawyers know as "field preemption" over my social agenda. But would it hurt to make stuff like that really good, and easy to follow, and as uncomplicated as possible? And I know my mom would say "well, it's just a ward party, what's the big deal, what are you so upset about?" but that attitude is part of the problem. We expect church stuff to be lame. In fact, we're surprised when it isn't.

Up til now, the only person I've told my snobbish thoughts to are my wife (other than texts to my boss and brother that I honestly and without hyperbole wished I had a broken leg). Does that make me a nice person, that I keep my snobbery bottled up? Or does it make me a hypocrite? Stay tuned for the answer...

The Theory of Blogging

Ok, so I have something I desperately want to blog about, but I am afraid that the people involved in the story, even if I give them pseudonyms, will recognize themselves, if they happen to wander across my blog in the future. The thing is, none of them are current readers, as far as I know. I mean, as far as I know, this blog has, like, 2 readers. Me and Apryl. Well, I think Mindy reads sometimes too. And ShaLyse left a comment a few days ago. And Lizanell does sometime, and I think Nicole...

Anyway, my story is about people who are not current readers, nor likely to be future readers. What should I do? Stay with the boring and innocuous? Or complain?

Cracker Barrel-Mobile Blogging

I swear, the kids like the chairs more than the food.

Mobile Blogging

Why doesn't the email function work for Blogger? Don't you folks want to see this cute picture of our trip?